Dating Burnout.

The hard part is finding that someone....

Just a little forewarning... this post will be all on a rant, its just been one of those days.

Let's just say when I pictured my life at 26 years old, it wasn't me still single and living in student housing. I figured by now I would have settled down and popped out at least a child. I can honestly say I have never been further away from settling down than I am today. I am soo burnt out on this whole dating game and am just so disappointed in the male race of this generation. After all the dates I've been on the past 2 months, I find myself thinking I am probably better off staying single and providing for myself, than placing my life and future children's lives in these guys' hands. I know that's really mean to say, but honestly... not a one of them have proven that they can step up to the plate. In the past 2 months I have been on 10 first dates, and have been stood up by 3 other guys. And after all these dates, today I decided I'm officially burnt out.

I am so burnt out on having the same conversation with a different guy everyday. "Where are you from? What did you study? Where do you work? What do you want to do with your degree? What's your favorite [insert anything]." It just gets old and tiresome. And I know I have to have these conversations in order to get to know someone and to lead to a relationship that will potentially lead to a marriage. But I just wish I could bypass it all and just already be best friends. Also, I'm sick of having these conversations, thinking that a guy could potentially be someone good and they turn out to be the scum of the earth just looking for a hook up. I'm gonna be 26, I'm over the hook up stage. I want a real relationship. Someone I can connect with on all levels and have an intellectual conversation with. Someone I can tell my stupid secrets too and they are going to listen and share with me.

I would just like to know where the normal people hang out. The ones that have ambition for their lives. The ones who know that at the age of 26 they need to be moved out of mom and dad's house. The ones who realize that a part time job is not going to provide for a family. The ones that are actively trying to make their life better rather than wasting it away with video games. I just feel like the guys these days are so lazy. I am taking my time each and every day to make myself a better person physically, mentally, and spiritually. And I am not interested in investing my time into a counterpart who is not willing to do the same. I don't think I deserve the creame of the crop, but I definitely deserve to be treated as more than just an option.

So until a guy can prove to me that he really wants me around, that I'm not just another name in his phone or another random make out session, then I am not going to be wasting my time. I'm sick of dating, and at this point in my life I think it may almost be easier to pursue my law degree and provide a good life for myself. I know Heavenly Father has promised me someone and I am doing all I can to keep my covenants with him in order to receive this promised gift. But I deserve to be treated better than I have by these men as of lately.

Valentine Shmalentines

So obviously this past weekend was the famous weekend where either lovers over spoil each other and bask in mushyness, or single people wallow in self pity because they are alone. Honestly I'm not really a fan for or against Valentine's Day. To me it's just another day. I've spent it both with someone I love and alone and I'll say each time I've been equally as happy. But I will say that this Valentines Day I felt extra loved, and there wasn't a special someone or anything big that happened. This is what my Love week looked like..

For the past week or so I've really been praying to be able to feel the love of my Heavenly Father. I'm not going through any major trials or anything. There are just times when being so far away from family gets rough and I've felt quite alone for some weird reason. But this week my prayers were answered by some truly amazing people in my life, and they probably don't even realize they were an answer. 

The week started off by being heart attacked by some sweet soul. I still have no idea who did it, but it started my week off with a huge smile. The next day my amazing relief society president brought me cookies, candy, and an inspirational quote. I ended the week by going back to my elementary school days and decorating a box to collect valentines at work. I really didn't want to participate in that activity because I have no crafty gene in my body. But it turned out to be super fun to do. I also stayed up real late to make my families famous sugar cookies to share with my roommates and the people at work. I was fortunate to be able to take home the gorgeous roses from work, and came home to a very generous care package from my family. 

I am so loved by so many people in my life. And I don't feel like valentines day should just be a holiday to celebrate lovers. Its about showing your love for all those important people in your life. Mom, dad, brother, sister, friends, cousins, etc. I decided that next year I am going to be better about letting those in my life know they are special and doing little things for them, instead of expecting everyone to shower me with love. (I may or may not have begged my mother to send me a valentines day package...)

My valentines night may have been the most unforgetable/awkward night ever. Earlier in the week I had decided I was not going to go on any dates for valentines because I wasn't feeling serious about any of my suiters. So instead I made plans with one of my best friends to just have a girls date. The plan was dinner, sodalicious, and watching Austenland. Well Friday afternoon she informs me that she met this boy on Tinder and felt bad that he had no one to spend vday with, so she invited him to go to dinner with us. So I was now going to be a 3rd wheel on a tinder date.. just my idea of a fun night. It got better when she said we had to pick him up because he had no car. So we go pick up this awkward BYU boy and go to cafe rio. Standing in line this boy is asking both of us questions because obviously he doesn't want it to be awkward, but I have no interest in talking to this boy and was bitter my date with my bestie was now a tricycle date. But she had to continue making it awkward by not even getting dinner. So it now looks like this kid and I are on a date together and she was the 3rd wheel. As we are checking out, the cashier thinks this kid is my date and rings him up like he is paying for my dinner and we had the awkward "no these are separate" convo. 

Luckily we got to drop the kid off after dinner and go about our night. But the awkwardness doesn't end there... My friend has this cute school girl crush on a guy in her ward. So of course she wants to leave him a little valentine goody by his door. But of course she can't leave it because he might open the door and discover it was her. So I have to doorbell ditch this guy, who mind you lives on the 4th floor. So I lay this goody on the ground, knock as loud as possible and book it down 4 flights of stairs, just hoping I don't take a digger down them. I survived don't you worry, and was not caught by the guy. 

So although my valentines did not go according to plan, it was by far one of the funniest night. I hated every minute but could not help laughing throughout the whole night. I will say enduring that awkward night was my contribution to showing the people I care about my love for them! 

The Beginning

Heyyy!!! So I've dabbled a few times with blogging.. 3 to be exact. All of which failed. And by failed I mean I wrote 2 posts got bored and totally deleted the blogs. So.. maybe the 4th time it will stick. Here's to hoping so.

I'm not one of those super crafty ladies that can use their blog to display their crafty masterpieces and try to teach non-crafty people like me how to make them. And I'm not a wonderful cook that can post my beautiful dinner I made from the night before. And I'm definitely not committed to the gym and will not be able to post pictures of my amazing progress like some people are able to do. I'm just an average person that can blog about absolutely average, everyday things.

Honestly, my blogging is for my own good. Any given day I have 5,000 thoughts, ideas, opinions, etc going through my head, and instead of bore my besties with it all day, I need an outlet to get the insides of my brain out! Who knows, maybe there are others who will have the same thoughts, or maybe my thoughts can help someone else. Or maybe absolutely no one will read this and my thoughts will forever be my own. However it goes... I'm just excited to try my hand at keeping a blog for longer than 2 days.

Let's get down to basics... most people reading this are already gonna know all there is to know about me. But maybe not.

This would me.. I can't really take a normal picture to save my life. I'm a little kid at heart, and am always goofing off. I am full of sarcasm and jokes. 

I come from this large family of weirdos. I absolutely love them all. We are all loud, crazy, and obnoxious and I wouldn't change it for the world. Obviously we are huge Giants fans as well. I have 5 brothers and am lucky enough to have 3 sister-in-laws. 

So I'm 25 and single... hard to believe I know. ;) But mister right just has not arrived yet. Some days are harder to accept that than others. But for the most part I'm really loving this journey on my own and finding out so many things about myself. And yes this blog will definitely have crazy date stories. Because lets be honest that's what my life has been full of the past month. 

I am educated.. graduated almost 3 years ago with my bachelors in psychology. And now I am studying my tail off for the LSAT. Wish I would of had my stuff together after I graduated because I could be graduating in 2 short months with my law degree. But it is what it is. 

I'm living in the absolutely lovely town of Provo, Utah.. (please sense the sarcasm in that). Provo is like another country. I'm loving it because I love my job (I work as an executive assistant at a tech company, with truly awesome people), and all my besties happen to be close by so I can't really complain much. I'm currently training for a half marathon this summer and am attempting to take the goal I've had for the past 7 years of getting in shape and doing something about it. So I'm sure there will be posts about me whining about how horrible going to the gym is. 

That sums up the basics of my life right now. I do fun stuff everyday and attempt to learn new things and step out of my box. So far its been a rewarding year. And hopefully I'll be able to blog about all the greatness that is my life.